I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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