In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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