i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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