I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
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how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
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Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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