Well douche your snatch and let's go!
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize
