yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize