I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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