The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
