do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
you never un-have a 4some
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
