I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize