I want to make a zoo with you.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
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Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
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Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
how does that bad decision feel?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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