Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
