nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
