whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
