oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
