Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
