i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
