You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
