don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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