Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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