Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
