I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize