o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
