And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
