just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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