Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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