I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize