I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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