so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
