Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
