So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
