lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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