Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
4 words: hood of his car
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
