the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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