when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
