I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize