I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
