Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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