Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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