Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
