he shaved USA in his pubs
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
