I'm gonna have a badass scar
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
