Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
