Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
