ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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