craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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