MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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