just come out here and I will go home with you...
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
