we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
