she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
