rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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