New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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