What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize