Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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