She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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