Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize