sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
