Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
