i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
